Really Real

Scroll all the way down. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Look at these. Just look at them. Lol! Soak it in. Everyone loves to see people with nicely done makeup. But I think people love to see people without makeup too. Even more so. Why? Because reality is fascinating. This is what you call the ugly truth. Lol! Well, maybe I won't go THAT far. Like  I've said before, this is how God made me. I just do a little extra to be my best self. 

Why did I do this? Because I want to talk about keeping it real. Just because I fix my hair and do my makeup doesn't mean I'm not being real. I'm still the same me. Being real on the inside is what counts. There are lots and lots of areas I can touch on with this "real" stuff, but I'm going to talk about my real emotions. Whether you like it or not! Ha. :) (That's my real mean side coming out). Lol. I'm going somewhere with these makeupless selfies...trust me. 

Notice the gazillion spots on my face? Of course you do. How could you miss that? Yikes....this is tough. Be real, Autumn. Be real. When I am stressed. When I have something bothering me, I always always ALWAYS pick at something. Over-plucking my eyebrows, picking at blackheads....I can't help it. It's therapy to me. Then I look at my face after and think, "What the heck am I doing to myself?" Then comes a whole new problem. "How is my makeup going to cover those??" Lol!! 

Being a mommy is stressful. Being a wife is stressful. We do NOT have it all together. One moment you think you are doing something great, and your husband is going to be so proud of you, then it turns out much differently. That stresses you out. Your kids won't take a nap after you telling them to lay down and go to sleep 100 times!!! That stresses you out. But in all honesty, I had that one coming. I never stayed in my bed as a child. Ever. Lol. 

Ever since I was a teenager, I would crouch up in the sink in front of the bathroom mirror, and I would pick. Pick pick pick pick pick. That really affected my image. I would wonder what people thought about me. I was self conscious already, and this just added to me. I don't know what preteen and teenager isn't self conscious!! But I would take all of my stress and problems out on my face. 

I have been thinking about writing about my mom for over a week now. It has really affected my emotions. It seems to pop up over and over throughout the day. Any little chance I get, I run to the bathroom and grab my tweezers. Tweezers are awesome....if they are in the right hands. Lol jk. But really. I believe I have gotten better with it. But just recently it has gotten a bit out of hand. 

I sound like I do meth....wow. I promise, I don't. No matter what you may think. Lol 

It's a little embarrassing for me to post this. But I felt a nudge to. I try not to ignore those nudges. Sometimes they get me into trouble. Lol. I am just trying to be real.

Since I like numbering things...I'm going to number a few things...

1. Finances

2. Marriage

3. Parenting

4. Being a church member

5. Being a true friend

6. Being a keeper of the home

These things all come with stress....some can have minimal. Some can be overwhelming. Let me touch on a few things...

1. We pay our bills. God has blessed us. No we do not have money to do a lot of things most people do every day. Let me be real and honest without people getting their feelings hurt. I feel like I'm rich when I get a Java Chip Frappe from the local coffee shop. I feel like dog food is a huge expense. Half of my makeup and clothes have been given to me. Actually, a majority of my things have been given to me. I've made stupid financial mistakes. But I'm learning. Seeing people take trips to see their family make me jealous sometimes. I'd like to see my friends and family way more than I do. When I see people eating out all. the. time. I think what I could use that money for if it was me. Ok, ok. Let me say this though, to be fair. I USED to let stuff like that bother me. I used to hate looking at Facebook. But then, I really tried to stop judging. What if that couple eating out all the time needs that time together? What if that person with the expensive coffee was up all night, and they needed that. What if a family member helped pay for their family to come see them. I have been in those situations, and judging can make me forget so easily. There have been so many times where I wonder what people thought when I did something that they would think is irresponsible (or something like that). But there may be far more to the story than our minds can judge!! I have really tried to learn that. Even if I do get jealous, I try to just let it go, get it out of my head and move on. More than often, I try to be happy for that person . I have really been trying to put myself in people's shoes. It will open your eyes. Just because people don't do things the same way I do doesn't mean I need to judge them or look down on them. It's happened to me, and I just don't like it. Lol. 

2. Marriage is hard. It's hard to love someone more than yourself. Hard. There may be times Luke and I go to bed mad at each other. And we are too prideful to just say "Ok," or "I was wrong." It's hard not comparing jobs. Who works harder....who cares!! It's not about you. It's about them. Boy, do I need to learn some more of that!!! And let me be blunt... There is so much more to marriage than making out and having sex. Lol Wow, I can't believe I said that. Lol! There are going to be times you can't stand each other. And there are going to be times where you don't think you could love them more! It can get stressful.

3. Girls. Drama. Diapers. Laundry. Discipline. Supervision. Attention. Hugs. Kisses. Runny noses. Fevers. Severe depression. Reading books. Disobedience. Hair getting pulled. I think that's enough....but I love them so much it literally hurts my chest. 

4. Not about looking and acting the way people think you should...looking and acting the way Jesus would. It can get stressful. God is so much more forgiving than people are. 

5. Even though some friends might annoy the crap out of you, (I can't begin to imagine how much I annoy people. Lol!!) you put yourselves in their shoes. You love them. You sacrifice for them. You be the friend you want to have. Still stressful. Still need to work on it.

6. Dishes. Cooking. Cleaning repeatedly. Thank GOD for my Norwex....glory hallelujah. That's for another blog post though. ;) Things by piled up. Stress-FUL!!!! The feeling like you can never catch up. Spills. Ironing. Trash. You name it...it can get stressful. 

So what do I do when those things get me stressed out?? Pick!!!! I'm sure we all have things we do to deal with our stress, problems and emotions. I am embarrassed by mine. But...I'm  being real. Things get to me. Hence, the terrible selfies. If you haven't gotten that by now. Lol. So....what do you do when you're buttons are being pushed??