The year 2015. I saw a saying today that said, " If you knew where you would be now at this time last year, what advice would you give yourself?" To eloquently put it....uhhhhh, not a clue. Is has been the most emotional year in all of my adulthood. May not seem that long to some, but it's my life so far. I have no idea what advice I could give myself for what happened this year. I'm talking about leaps-of-faith-emotional...faith-testing-emotional...the kind of emotional where you can either get bitter, or you can just trust God has a bigger plan. I know I have found God more this year than I ever have. Sometimes I got away from Him and focused more on people, and pleasing them. Even when I thought I was pleasing God, sometimes I was truly pleasing people. It's easy for me to want to do that. It's in my nature to be peaceable. When I got everyone out of my head, and focused on God, searching for HIM...Truth...He became more clear than I've ever seen Him. A unity between my husband and I formed. God was leading our family, together. Then we made decisions. Tough decisions...but looking back on it now, God gave us grace. I always knew He had a purpose and a plan for our lives. And lots of times I doubted Him. I felt stuck. But there is so much freedom with my relationship with God, because I'm not bound by what MAN thinks. It's just me and Him. No one else. I don't let other people's judgement get to me like I used to. I'm nowhere near perfect, so I would lie if I said it never bothers me. But He's helped me with that. He has things for me that someone else would never understand, because it's not for them! He's God. He can do that!! Friendships have ended, been torn, been mended, been made...Relationships have been tested. Bitterness has crept in. And I've seen it disappear. Thank God! I don't deserve anything, but God has been so good. He's had us take some hard steps this year, and I am so thankful! Even though I didn't like the anxiety and emotional torment, I knew we were doing the right thing. He has given my family a new family, that has done some healing, without even knowing. But God knows. He knew what He was doing. This is my life, and I don't want to waste it. I want to be a light. I know I struggle. I'm human. I say things I shouldn't. I do some things that aren't the best. But this year, especially toward the end, I've really tried to build up some guts and get out of my comfort zone. I want to be kind to people and make them feel like they are worth something. I want to treat them the way I want to be treated. I want people to feel like they can talk to me. I want to be a good listener. I want to work on these things this  new year. I have downfalls. But I'm going to try to root out negativity, and focus on the good things. God has done so much. And things could be SO much worse. I can't help but breathe out a, "Thank you, Jesus," whenever I think about my girls being healthy, or whenever our house is warm and it's freezing outside. So after all that...I feel like my year started right before the summer. Besides feeling like this has been the year of discovering my eyebrows, there's been a lot of big stuff  happen.
To name a few, I became a photographer, a Stella & Dot stylist, and a preacher's wife. Say what!! And it has been incredible...God has been blessing, and I am so thankful. I feel like health is one of the most important things we can have. And I have been taking Plexus for almost a year. I want to say I don't know where I would be without it, but I know all too well. It is literally making my life livable. I am able to function and take care of my little girls because of Plexus. It was so hard to before. I never want to go back to that miserable life. I am so very thankful!!!
I have been looking back on this last year so much lately. God has graciously put some things out of my mind, and I've moved on from a lot of things. I'm so looking forward to this new year. No crazy resolutions for me. I'm just going to keep trying my best at the life God has given me and my family.